iWhack

I have some ideas for add-ons to Apple's venerable iLife series. These contributions would help to diversify the Mac community, and bring greater functionality to new user demographics.

I present the first two titles in the iPip series....


iWhack

iWhack will revolutionize the way you view internet pornography. Manage your prodigious collection with iWhack's powerful and elegant set of organizational tools. Arrange your various MPEG, Quicktime, and Windows Media files by artist, genre, keywords, and your own quality rating.

Is Thursday night goat night? Why waste perfectly good time rummaging through your old clips, listening for the telltale bray? Create a "Goats" playlist, and you and your old sock are ready for a night of romance.

Getting ready for a big date? Want a quick way to relax? Use iWhack's "Quickie" feature to make the most of a hurried situation. iWhack will automatically choose the most effective clips (based on how long you've let them play in the past) and display them for you in the iWhack window.

iBlather

Instant messaging for the rest of you.

iBlather allows you to participate in audio, video, and text conferences with the only person you can really trust... yourself.

Because, after all, you never know if the person on the other end of your instant messenging client is really a CIA agent, trying to determine the weaknesses of your alumnium foil mind-shield.

And now, with iSight integration, you can see yourself in stunningly clear VGA video. Watch over your own shoulder for alien abductors while you explain your UFO theories to yourself. Record "in the event of my death" videos to email to your family, friends, and the media.

Leave the pills behind, and let iBlather integrate your clandestine missions with your online life.