The Great Spambot Invasion

If you’re reading this, I may already be dead. Pay attention: our very lives may be in danger. I have uncovered a plot by spambots to take over the world.

No, think about it: first they were just in email, right? Randomly emailing folk with made-up names, advertising viagra and mortgage refinancing. they’d slip their nasty little bot fingers into webpages and steal email addresses for their dirty little lists, but at least you could stop them with decent spam blockers.

But then…then they spread to chat rooms, telling people they were 18/f , asking people if they wanted to see naked pictures on their profile. Fourteen-year-old kids tried to cyber with them, only to find they needed to enter daddy’s credit card to get any further. I once witnessed an entire aol chat room filled with nothing but spambots, talking to each other. Most of it was garbage, but it may have been in code:

wellhung42: guess what!
1983virgin: that’s great. would you like to see my profile? http://profile.chatclient.com/1983virgin
moneyman: hey guys.
wellhung42: any guys who want the secret to prolonged erection, IM me!
1983virgin: really? that’s very sexy. i’m a lonely cheerleeder, sitting around in my underwear. look at my profile!
moneyman: i have a great business opportunity for you guys…

But then we learned to block them out (or got hobbies and migrated out of the chat rooms), and they had to evolve again…

Now they’ve spread to blogs. I just spent… well, five minutes, but still… perusing Blogger “blogs” that were really ads for casinos and pocket bikes (whatever the hell that is). If they keep evolving like this, it’s only a matter of time before they spread to the computers that control our defense grids and demand that we buy cialis or face our immediate extermination. I've seen War Games; I know the score.